Blue or Red?

There I was looking at an ugly hoodie made by a nine year old in Thailand when two fairly cute girls walked into Stitches. I clutched my bag from EB games in one fist as I made a little peek around the dress shirt rack to see where they were headed. I saw that they were headed nowhere near me and so my dejected gaze drifted back to a black hoodie covered in stripes, stars, and cheap stitching. All of a sudden that trademark shriek ran out through the store. "OH MY GOD!" was the word on the street for those four terror filled seconds. "WHAT A CUTE THONG!" Jesus Christ I thought, what happens when she sees a purse? For the next ten minutes I became privy to what could have, at a low volume, been considered a private conversation between two friends. In reality I ended up learning some very interesting things about underwear and the female mind. Apparently, according to these two girls, it is cute to cover your vagina with an innocent japanese kitty stitched right over your sweet spot. Who knew? To continue on with my story, these girls ended up talking about how their mothers wouldn't let them, blah blah blah. They walked out of the store each with a mini-bag containing a blue and a red thong respectively.


Wow, what an opener, to think that enriched English did not teach me jack about actual physical writing. It takes a lot of willpower for me to sit down and make a post up here. Anyway, what have I been up to? Over the course of July I volunteered with a local Toronto charity called reBoot Canada, that recycles and refurbishes old computers. Interesting stuff. I also learned how to drive... cool.

If you're wondering why I didn't just leave the store in the above situation I have three answers for you:
a) It was funny
b) It was interesting
c) Would you?

I also happened to have an hour to kill before Drivers Ed. started up for the afternoon. Thats what happens in the summer, people fill up the malls and its all you can do to not slip and fall into a torrent of consumerism. Its amazing how many good movies you can find on sale at HMV when you are trying to kill 30 minutes. I actually came up with a little game. I would pick up one 2/$20 dvd and one 2/$30 dvd and take them up to the cash. Next I would attempt a heavy accent and ask why it was $33 or however much showed up on the little screen. This became a battle of will between myself and the cashier until eventually I won. It was at this point that I would return the movies to the shelves and go back to class... I'm such a loser.

Anyway school's starting up again, how absolutely morbid, and I'm looking forward to high pressure for high marks for high salary for the next 7 years of my life. Shit.

Paper Hats and Cake

So, I'm posting this on what is regarded by the majority as my birthday. I remember when I was young and I'd have some cool party with like 10 other kids or whatever, and everyone would get all excited about it. Once you hit 10, it starts to not matter so much except that privileges are extended to you such as watching PG-13 movies that no one gives a shit about, and the two biggies, driving and drinking (not together).
My XX birthday started out alright but I came home and my parents were out of town so I decided to do the stupidest thing ever. I will not disclose exactly what I was doing but the fire alarm went off. Our home security people phoned and I didn`t know the right pass codes and all that shit and eventually a fire truck showed up. What a stupid idea I had.... you can probably figure it out now. Anyways, fire truck showed up, they thought it was fucking hilarious and they were all giggling like a pack of horny school girls. Suffice to say, if you`re going to do it, do it outside.


VERY SHORT POST, posting again soon

ciao
eStab

Everyone Fucks

I was sitting at my computer doing jack shit when the thought struck me like lightning out of the blue. Even though I have watched and enjoyed Kevin Smith's Clerks II I had not seen the original black and white Clerks. I immediately hopped on to the internet, grabbed that file and watched it. Its a great movie, I enjoyed it more than Clerks II... so much for an introductory paragraph.

Drugs have been around way too long for us to really try to eliminate them from our society. Smoking slowly became taboo, which is stupid. Smoking is universal, the lowliest gangster on the corner of Mount Faymount, West Baltimore is smoking the same tabacco that an uptight bitch with daddies money in her fist is smoking in Orange County, California. Lately, my local government passed a bylaw banning the open display of cigarettes in all retail stores etc. Which is stupid. I would rather look at a colour co-ordinated wall of cigarette packaging then a bunch of fucking ugly shelves.

I don't understand this whole "drug culture vs. not drug culture" war that is being waged in our high schools and society at large. I don't consider my self a stoner at all, but I also don't consider myself a conformist bitch who believes that if you stick anything burning in your mouth you'll get cancer and not graduate high school and end up lying in a ditch with a hypodermic needle halfway up your arm. Remember back when we were 9 and under and we thought that sex was totally bad, awful, and unforgivable? Then we found out, shit, our parents fucked to make us. That thought was totally disgusting for about 6 months until we were like, yo shit... sex is good! Same situation. I don't get pissed off by stoners smoking pot, I'm not going to make a judgement on a lifestyle that is different from my own. What pisses me off are the people that assume that if you are a male who has different ideas about the world than most Abercrombie bitches then you automatically fall into the category of stoner. Some people have made the assumption that I am a stoner, which I'm not, and therefore are turned off by me... The assumption that stoners are stupid fucks who are throwing there life away is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. Some of the smartest guys I know are stoners and I'd rather talk to them than any chick who assumes she's sober because she's drinking a $20 Vente Caramel Machiatto.

End of Rant...
Peace

Rubix Cubix

I've been trying to solve one of those cubes for a while now without any help, suffice to say, I've been outwitted by a 6 coloured cube. It's amazing that another school year is coming to a close, I've done a lot more this year, becoming closer with a couple of people and had others drift away. It's somewhat depressing to look back over two years and reflect on your shortcomings and all of the things that you didn't do.

In grade 9, as Spoonifur (of spoonifur.com) would say, I was a dick. The school year started out great until some things in my family happened. At that point my life went down the shitter, I lost most of the friends that I had made in the fall and most people didn't care to talk to me, it was totally depressing, I lashed out at others instead of recognising that the problem I had was that I was blaming others instead of fixing my own problems. I then had a religious experience during the summer which is for another time. I was a wreck, I thought about doing all sorts of things like smoking different shit (which never happened) running away, shit like that. It all divulged into my subconscious writing down "blame the kid" (me) hundreds of times in my notebook/sketchbook. Totally emo, totally uncool, totally gay.

Grade 10 was definitely the best year for me so far, it started out where gr.9 left off but a bit better. The first mistake I made was trying to get into the wrong crowd, that crowd was not for me, it's made up of people who are more broken than me, people who are considered the coolest kids in the artsy clique, which are the people with the worst marks and the most problems. I felt somewhat wanted but that was my own feelings, I tried to cling to this group and be cool without looking like a total dick about it. This led to a downward spiral which kept spinning until I said, "fuck this, they are dicks, the ringleader especially" and I moved on. I stopped the spiral and pulled it into a nice clean line and found guys that I would trust to the end of the Earth, (which is about 12 minutes away). This was great, having friends who you actually do things with leads to happiness which leads to more happiness. My Gr.10 year was looking up and still is. I've met some cool guys, helped others open up, done some cool shit. One of the highlights of this was getting involved in the school show, meeting more people and having a fun fucking time.

Really what helped me solve my problems was not letting others decide my fate, which will always be down, but by saying fuck'em all, this is my life, I'm going to choose if I'll have friends or not, it takes a bit of hardwork but it pays off. Really, the root of all problems is the self, and only when you accept that can you take control of your life and be "cool".

Drugs, or any form of escape for that matter, for me have not been the answer, you can't solve your problems by escaping them. I have no problem with the ingestion of marijuana but it shouldn't be used as an escape, there are too many people running from things in this world, you do not have to be one of them. Use it to relax and think through your problems, everyone needs a temporary escape, but it should not be your crutch.

Alot of people I have met who went through the same thing as me stop caring and let their marks slip, fail courses, and join the wrong crowd. If you hate a teacher, or you believe that they hate you, the answer is not to skip their class and do poorly on assignments because you don't care. The answer is to attend class, show them that you care, and hand in things that they can't possibly mark badly.


There is so much I could talk about, its been an amazing year, but there is one last topic I wish to discuss and that is girls. Girls have got to be one of the strangest creatures I have ever encountered. They somehow make us believe that they hold the power to fulfill most of our desires and they totally flaunt this as hard as they can. Guys sit back and make crude comments about wanting, needing, or doing girls in every position, in every time of day, in every location and sometimes more then one of them at a time. This entire system that our school society is based on is corrupt. The hottest, smartest, most awesome chicks usually end up having sex later rather then earlier, and the most broken of us (f/m) end up having sex as fast as possible because it serves as an escape. And yet, despite all the flaunting, the crude comments, the rediculousness, and the manipulations, guys and girls in highschool end up wanting the same thing. Someone that they can hold, that they can love, and someone who will lie next to them in bed and say, "want to go again?".

Side Note: ZOMG! 2 spoon references?

Utopian Twilight

I recently saw the Darwin exhibit at the Royal Ontario Museum, which had come under a certain amount of controversy. Low and behold my father informs me that many companies refused to sponsor the exhibit because they did not want to lost customers due to "intelligent design" martyrs. Somewhat surprising seeing as Darwin's law has seriously debunked any bible thumper's theory about how we landed ass down on this planet. Much to my surprise my father again informs me that the United Church of Canada (christian) was the first corporation to sponsor the exhibit. SURPRISE SURPRISE!

This exhibit really effected me due to an inverse pyramid display showing human skulls. The bottom of the display started like a million bajillion years ago (see post about the beginning of the world) and has this wierd skull. Skip forward a couple million years ago and there is a row of 8 human like skulls lined up, all existing at the same time. Some had larger jaws, some had large foreheads, and some had large jawed foreheads. Only one still exists today, this would be the homo-sapien skull. There was a small article showing that many of the other "human" strand skulls that they recovered had cracks in the back of the skull due to blunt force head trauma-ish stuff. The wildy accepted theory is that the homo-sapien strand beat the living shit out of all of the other strands and created a mass genocide.

When I read this I honestly could not believe it. Imagine if the other strands had survived? We would have such a diverse world, we might have acquired Utopia. We would be drinking from rivers of rum and smoking the finest bud known to mankind, fulfilling a life of bliss and pure luxury. There was no "original sin" in the garden of Eden, the genocide of 7 strands of humans is the original sin. We had Utopia in our grasp and we threw away our chance at it in order to strike down those that were different from us. We were Adam and Eve and the snake is in our own minds, many of us exist without conscience and our society thrives on the backs of the broken, slowly but surely destroying ourselves and slipping farther away from what we want and need. Humanity's first instinct is to kill those that aren't like us and our second instinct is to reproduce with those of our own kind. Whenever we see the autistic, the brain-dead, the beaten, and the fallen, we must look away, for their broken gaze too much for us to accept. We deny them this basic humanity, we take from them the one true thing that they still need, acceptance. I WEEP FOR YOU PEOPLE OF EARTH, I weep for the broken, the fallen, for the deniers, the suppliers, and most of all for the people who protect this broken lifestyle.

Hi, The Edge, I was just wondering, how can i perform a home lobotomy on my son?

Long time without a post. Couple of things have happened in a couple of weeks. I learned how to paint lighters... and I saw Iron Man which sucked.
I have my opinion as do we all, Iron Man in my opinion sucked. There was not enough character depth. The graphics were cool but I would prefer more character depth from people that I would expect more character depth from. I'm done with that one.
Not much happens when it needs to be happening. I was riding the TTC (public transit) subway line the other day when all of a sudden this guy and his girlfriend storm into the car and sit down with 3 bags of stolen goods. I know they had stolen them because they had aptly stated this after about 30 seconds on the train. Everyone, myself included, got up and moved down the train as these miscreants started to sort through various assortments of handcream and all sorts of other shit that they had lifted from Shoppers' drug Mart. These two were obviously addicted to meth or some shit as they kept discussing if "he" would take it or if they should sell it to someone else and then buy off of him.

Now for something different, and totally funny. I have been described as an angry writer by Spoonifur (of spoonifur.com). Life can be stressful and you know what I do? Kick life in the ass. If you stop caring about life, your life becomes MORE stressful. THerefore i did the opposite, I planned all my schoolwork and shit. In careers class at school I am rated as the least stressed person in the class. Careers by the way sucks, it sucks so hard it would be like a vacuum sucking at a thread (or something) duh! i don't know. my writing sucks.

Also, I have decided that teaching is the most FLY job ever, its so FLY its like SUPAFLY! Salary in these parts caps at $90k per year but you end up getting close to 3-4 months of holiday... SUPAFLY! So once I make my first trillion dollars, I'll retire and become a teacher.

Two Posts in One Day? Don't Expect It Any More

So the conversation started with "You know, there are many lucrative business opportunities in the high school drug market"... It all went downhill from there. Have you ever found yourself in the oddest of conversations? Today during a 4 hour lapse in any work we weren't doing on the play I found myself in the middle of a conversation between a Gr.12 Art Major, a Gr.11 Dance Major, me and Spoonifur (of spoonifur.com), aforementioned in the previous post, about hard drugs, alcohol, and bitches in the school.
This was the most random conversation ever... like almost ever. The Gr.12 who we shall call Giggles was encouraging us to get into heroin which is apparently really great stuff. Self-injection is safe! FOR SERIOUS! Anyways just thought I'd say that.
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Pro-Tip: If you own a 360, make sure you get a wired controller.
Reason 1: Wireless controllers have a 5ms delay whereas wired do not. (hahaha bitches)
Reason 3: If you are on Vista (which sucks) plug in your wired controller and all your games are playable with it (which doesn't suck)
Reason 2: Wired controllers are more 1337
Reason 4: Using said controller, instead of your domo-kun keyboard, will allow you to do what you do behind closed doors
Reason 42: Try to choke someone with a wireless controller