Revolutionary Cupcake

Blue or Red?

2008-08-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

There I was looking at an ugly hoodie made by a nine year old in Thailand when two fairly cute girls walked into Stitches. I clutched my bag from EB games in one fist as I made a little peek around the dress shirt rack to see where they were headed. I saw that they were headed nowhere near me and so my dejected gaze drifted back to a black hoodie covered in stripes, stars, and cheap stitching. All of a sudden that trademark shriek ran out through the store. "OH MY GOD!" was the word on the street for those four terror filled seconds. "WHAT A CUTE THONG!" Jesus Christ I thought, what happens when she sees a purse? For the next ten minutes I became privy to what could have, at a low volume, been considered a private conversation between two friends. In reality I ended up learning some very interesting things about underwear and the female mind. Apparently, according to these two girls, it is cute to cover your vagina with an innocent japanese kitty stitched right over your sweet spot. Who knew? To continue on with my story, these girls ended up talking about how their mothers wouldn't let them, blah blah blah. They walked out of the store each with a mini-bag containing a blue and a red thong respectively.

Wow, what an opener, to think that enriched English did not teach me jack about actual physical writing. It takes a lot of willpower for me to sit down and make a post up here. Anyway, what have I been up to? Over the course of July I volunteered with a local Toronto charity called reBoot Canada, that recycles and refurbishes old computers. Interesting stuff. I also learned how to drive... cool.

If you're wondering why I didn't just leave the store in the above situation I have three answers for you:
a) It was funny
b) It was interesting
c) Would you?

I also happened to have an hour to kill before Drivers Ed. started up for the afternoon. Thats what happens in the summer, people fill up the malls and its all you can do to not slip and fall into a torrent of consumerism. Its amazing how many good movies you can find on sale at HMV when you are trying to kill 30 minutes. I actually came up with a little game. I would pick up one 2/$20 dvd and one 2/$30 dvd and take them up to the cash. Next I would attempt a heavy accent and ask why it was $33 or however much showed up on the little screen. This became a battle of will between myself and the cashier until eventually I won. It was at this point that I would return the movies to the shelves and go back to class... I'm such a loser.

Anyway school's starting up again, how absolutely morbid, and I'm looking forward to high pressure for high marks for high salary for the next 7 years of my life. Shit.

Paper Hats and Cake

2008-07-16T07:46:00.000-07:00

So, I'm posting this on what is regarded by the majority as my birthday. I remember when I was young and I'd have some cool party with like 10 other kids or whatever, and everyone would get all excited about it. Once you hit 10, it starts to not matter so much except that privileges are extended to you such as watching PG-13 movies that no one gives a shit about, and the two biggies, driving and drinking (not together).
My XX birthday started out alright but I came home and my parents were out of town so I decided to do the stupidest thing ever. I will not disclose exactly what I was doing but the fire alarm went off. Our home security people phoned and I didn`t know the right pass codes and all that shit and eventually a fire truck showed up. What a stupid idea I had.... you can probably figure it out now. Anyways, fire truck showed up, they thought it was fucking hilarious and they were all giggling like a pack of horny school girls. Suffice to say, if you`re going to do it, do it outside.

VERY SHORT POST, posting again soon

ciao
eStab

Everyone Fucks

2008-06-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at my computer doing jack shit when the thought struck me like lightning out of the blue. Even though I have watched and enjoyed Kevin Smith's Clerks II I had not seen the original black and white Clerks. I immediately hopped on to the internet, grabbed that file and watched it. Its a great movie, I enjoyed it more than Clerks II... so much for an introductory paragraph.

Drugs have been around way too long for us to really try to eliminate them from our society. Smoking slowly became taboo, which is stupid. Smoking is universal, the lowliest gangster on the corner of Mount Faymount, West Baltimore is smoking the same tabacco that an uptight bitch with daddies money in her fist is smoking in Orange County, California. Lately, my local government passed a bylaw banning the open display of cigarettes in all retail stores etc. Which is stupid. I would rather look at a colour co-ordinated wall of cigarette packaging then a bunch of fucking ugly shelves.

I don't understand this whole "drug culture vs. not drug culture" war that is being waged in our high schools and society at large. I don't consider my self a stoner at all, but I also don't consider myself a conformist bitch who believes that if you stick anything burning in your mouth you'll get cancer and not graduate high school and end up lying in a ditch with a hypodermic needle halfway up your arm. Remember back when we were 9 and under and we thought that sex was totally bad, awful, and unforgivable? Then we found out, shit, our parents fucked to make us. That thought was totally disgusting for about 6 months until we were like, yo shit... sex is good! Same situation. I don't get pissed off by stoners smoking pot, I'm not going to make a judgement on a lifestyle that is different from my own. What pisses me off are the people that assume that if you are a male who has different ideas about the world than most Abercrombie bitches then you automatically fall into the category of stoner. Some people have made the assumption that I am a stoner, which I'm not, and therefore are turned off by me... The assumption that stoners are stupid fucks who are throwing there life away is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. Some of the smartest guys I know are stoners and I'd rather talk to them than any chick who assumes she's sober because she's drinking a $20 Vente Caramel Machiatto.

End of Rant...
Peace

Rubix Cubix

2008-06-06T17:07:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to solve one of those cubes for a while now without any help, suffice to say, I've been outwitted by a 6 coloured cube. It's amazing that another school year is coming to a close, I've done a lot more this year, becoming closer with a couple of people and had others drift away. It's somewhat depressing to look back over two years and reflect on your shortcomings and all of the things that you didn't do.

In grade 9, as Spoonifur (of spoonifur.com) would say, I was a dick. The school year started out great until some things in my family happened. At that point my life went down the shitter, I lost most of the friends that I had made in the fall and most people didn't care to talk to me, it was totally depressing, I lashed out at others instead of recognising that the problem I had was that I was blaming others instead of fixing my own problems. I then had a religious experience during the summer which is for another time. I was a wreck, I thought about doing all sorts of things like smoking different shit (which never happened) running away, shit like that. It all divulged into my subconscious writing down "blame the kid" (me) hundreds of times in my notebook/sketchbook. Totally emo, totally uncool, totally gay.

Grade 10 was definitely the best year for me so far, it started out where gr.9 left off but a bit better. The first mistake I made was trying to get into the wrong crowd, that crowd was not for me, it's made up of people who are more broken than me, people who are considered the coolest kids in the artsy clique, which are the people with the worst marks and the most problems. I felt somewhat wanted but that was my own feelings, I tried to cling to this group and be cool without looking like a total dick about it. This led to a downward spiral which kept spinning until I said, "fuck this, they are dicks, the ringleader especially" and I moved on. I stopped the spiral and pulled it into a nice clean line and found guys that I would trust to the end of the Earth, (which is about 12 minutes away). This was great, having friends who you actually do things with leads to happiness which leads to more happiness. My Gr.10 year was looking up and still is. I've met some cool guys, helped others open up, done some cool shit. One of the highlights of this was getting involved in the school show, meeting more people and having a fun fucking time.

Really what helped me solve my problems was not letting others decide my fate, which will always be down, but by saying fuck'em all, this is my life, I'm going to choose if I'll have friends or not, it takes a bit of hardwork but it pays off. Really, the root of all problems is the self, and only when you accept that can you take control of your life and be "cool".

Drugs, or any form of escape for that matter, for me have not been the answer, you can't solve your problems by escaping them. I have no problem with the ingestion of marijuana but it shouldn't be used as an escape, there are too many people running from things in this world, you do not have to be one of them. Use it to relax and think through your problems, everyone needs a temporary escape, but it should not be your crutch.

Alot of people I have met who went through the same thing as me stop caring and let their marks slip, fail courses, and join the wrong crowd. If you hate a teacher, or you believe that they hate you, the answer is not to skip their class and do poorly on assignments because you don't care. The answer is to attend class, show them that you care, and hand in things that they can't possibly mark badly.

There is so much I could talk about, its been an amazing year, but there is one last topic I wish to discuss and that is girls. Girls have got to be one of the strangest creatures I have ever encountered. They somehow make us believe that they hold the power to fulfill most of our desires and they totally flaunt this as hard as they can. Guys sit back and make crude comments about wanting, needing, or doing girls in every position, in every time of day, in every location and sometimes more then one of them at a time. This entire system that our school society is based on is corrupt. The hottest, smartest, most awesome chicks usually end up having sex later rather then earlier, and the most broken of us (f/m) end up having sex as fast as possible because it serves as an escape. And yet, despite all the flaunting, the crude comments, the rediculousness, and the manipulations, guys and girls in highschool end up wanting the same thing. Someone that they can hold, that they can love, and someone who will lie next to them in bed and say, "want to go again?".

Side Note: ZOMG! 2 spoon references?

Utopian Twilight

2008-05-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

I recently saw the Darwin exhibit at the Royal Ontario Museum, which had come under a certain amount of controversy. Low and behold my father informs me that many companies refused to sponsor the exhibit because they did not want to lost customers due to "intelligent design" martyrs. Somewhat surprising seeing as Darwin's law has seriously debunked any bible thumper's theory about how we landed ass down on this planet. Much to my surprise my father again informs me that the United Church of Canada (christian) was the first corporation to sponsor the exhibit. SURPRISE SURPRISE!

This exhibit really effected me due to an inverse pyramid display showing human skulls. The bottom of the display started like a million bajillion years ago (see post about the beginning of the world) and has this wierd skull. Skip forward a couple million years ago and there is a row of 8 human like skulls lined up, all existing at the same time. Some had larger jaws, some had large foreheads, and some had large jawed foreheads. Only one still exists today, this would be the homo-sapien skull. There was a small article showing that many of the other "human" strand skulls that they recovered had cracks in the back of the skull due to blunt force head trauma-ish stuff. The wildy accepted theory is that the homo-sapien strand beat the living shit out of all of the other strands and created a mass genocide.

When I read this I honestly could not believe it. Imagine if the other strands had survived? We would have such a diverse world, we might have acquired Utopia. We would be drinking from rivers of rum and smoking the finest bud known to mankind, fulfilling a life of bliss and pure luxury. There was no "original sin" in the garden of Eden, the genocide of 7 strands of humans is the original sin. We had Utopia in our grasp and we threw away our chance at it in order to strike down those that were different from us. We were Adam and Eve and the snake is in our own minds, many of us exist without conscience and our society thrives on the backs of the broken, slowly but surely destroying ourselves and slipping farther away from what we want and need. Humanity's first instinct is to kill those that aren't like us and our second instinct is to reproduce with those of our own kind. Whenever we see the autistic, the brain-dead, the beaten, and the fallen, we must look away, for their broken gaze too much for us to accept. We deny them this basic humanity, we take from them the one true thing that they still need, acceptance. I WEEP FOR YOU PEOPLE OF EARTH, I weep for the broken, the fallen, for the deniers, the suppliers, and most of all for the people who protect this broken lifestyle.

Hi, The Edge, I was just wondering, how can i perform a home lobotomy on my son?

2008-05-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

Long time without a post. Couple of things have happened in a couple of weeks. I learned how to paint lighters... and I saw Iron Man which sucked.
I have my opinion as do we all, Iron Man in my opinion sucked. There was not enough character depth. The graphics were cool but I would prefer more character depth from people that I would expect more character depth from. I'm done with that one.
Not much happens when it needs to be happening. I was riding the TTC (public transit) subway line the other day when all of a sudden this guy and his girlfriend storm into the car and sit down with 3 bags of stolen goods. I know they had stolen them because they had aptly stated this after about 30 seconds on the train. Everyone, myself included, got up and moved down the train as these miscreants started to sort through various assortments of handcream and all sorts of other shit that they had lifted from Shoppers' drug Mart. These two were obviously addicted to meth or some shit as they kept discussing if "he" would take it or if they should sell it to someone else and then buy off of him.

Now for something different, and totally funny. I have been described as an angry writer by Spoonifur (of spoonifur.com). Life can be stressful and you know what I do? Kick life in the ass. If you stop caring about life, your life becomes MORE stressful. THerefore i did the opposite, I planned all my schoolwork and shit. In careers class at school I am rated as the least stressed person in the class. Careers by the way sucks, it sucks so hard it would be like a vacuum sucking at a thread (or something) duh! i don't know. my writing sucks.

Also, I have decided that teaching is the most FLY job ever, its so FLY its like SUPAFLY! Salary in these parts caps at $90k per year but you end up getting close to 3-4 months of holiday... SUPAFLY! So once I make my first trillion dollars, I'll retire and become a teacher.

Two Posts in One Day? Don't Expect It Any More

2008-04-13T17:26:00.000-07:00

So the conversation started with "You know, there are many lucrative business opportunities in the high school drug market"... It all went downhill from there. Have you ever found yourself in the oddest of conversations? Today during a 4 hour lapse in any work we weren't doing on the play I found myself in the middle of a conversation between a Gr.12 Art Major, a Gr.11 Dance Major, me and Spoonifur (of spoonifur.com), aforementioned in the previous post, about hard drugs, alcohol, and bitches in the school.
This was the most random conversation ever... like almost ever. The Gr.12 who we shall call Giggles was encouraging us to get into heroin which is apparently really great stuff. Self-injection is safe! FOR SERIOUS! Anyways just thought I'd say that.
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Pro-Tip: If you own a 360, make sure you get a wired controller.
Reason 1: Wireless controllers have a 5ms delay whereas wired do not. (hahaha bitches)
Reason 3: If you are on Vista (which sucks) plug in your wired controller and all your games are playable with it (which doesn't suck)
Reason 2: Wired controllers are more 1337
Reason 4: Using said controller, instead of your domo-kun keyboard, will allow you to do what you do behind closed doors
Reason 42: Try to choke someone with a wireless controller

Briefly Extended History of The World Part Two ... Not

2008-04-13T06:01:00.000-07:00

So Spoonifur (of spoonifur.com) made a comment that I write really angrily? Do I write angrily? Or do I write aggressively? Can my writing in fact show my true emotions? Is my writing from my heart? Does it allow my emotions to show past this titanium shield that I have built up over time? I think maybe it does. Writing evicts an emotional response from the reader but also from the writer. Every writer pours a bit of their soul into what they put down on paper knowing that it may be criticized or rejected. We have a society in which people live in fear of being rejected, of being ostracized for being who they are. If that is the society we want to support, then go right ahead and support the rejection of people who are just fine. I really am not a big supporter of chicks with Starbuck's in one hand and a fucking cigarette in the other. Is it really a good mark for our high schools that what should be popular is money, Starbucks, and TNA (both kinds)? Do we really need another generation of people walking into their offices and getting a promotion because they banged the boss? Do we really want more prejudice because of ingorance? People play the racism card all to easily these days, black people pull it, which is just fine, asian people pull it, just about everyone does. These people whom I am about to list just made me go like WTF. WOMEN are now pulling the sexist card and many of the ones who pull it are just using it to their own advantage. Does no one realize that I, as a white male, face racism everyday and I am prejudiced against? Does that make sense? People will go ahead and call me a cracker but as soon as I say n1&&er, or sandn!&&er or some other shit... its like BOOM! Racist! No, I love all people. I am not prejudiced against a certain race, but only certain people and if someone calls me a cracker I should have the right to fight back. The response that I was told to this was, "No, you do not have that right, because you enslaved my people!" And i was like WTF? Did I personally enslave all of your people? I can assure you that I didn't and what just said is grouping every single white person into one pile. WHICH IS RACISM YOU BITCH! And I can assure you that there were hundreds of white people that did not enslave your people but you refuse to believe that not every white person is out to get you. If I were to sneeze and you were close by you would probably pull the racism card... you ignorant turd!

OK I'm Done.

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Side Note: No I am not racist, yes I love all people, No I do not find racism funny, Yes the situation above happened to me, No I did not kick this guys ass because that would have been "racism"

Thank you for taking the time to read this rant. This rant was weird, I don't even remember how i started it.

An Extendedly Brief History of The World Part One

2008-04-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while, I have been busy with a school show excetera and stuff. A friend of mine who I shall call NumaNuma gave me the idea of using this blog to express my satirical and sometimes (always) biased view of the world, starting with how it was created and then moving on to humans and all that other shit.

Warning: BE OFFENDED, if you aren't then this blog isn't working, so fuck you maybe I'll post like racist shit then? Maybe I'll bash your religion then, you scientologist prick! Haha NOW YOU ARE OFFENDED! <=== The comments above and below are for satirical purposes and should not be taken seriously, neither should the writer, he's obviously some bitch with too much free time. So yea, I'm not serious... I hope?

In the beginning there was this black space and somehow out of an explosion a bunch of rocks came out of nowhere. (Seems kinda phishy) Now these rocks were attracted to one another in much the same way that we humans are show our attraction to another person of our race. These rocks attached themselves to one another until they became the size of huge. At this point there was this giant ball of fire and shit that was the center and all of the other balls orbited around it. One of these was called Earth, it is the only one that to the best of our knowledge now supports life (true), it is all the center planet (not true), the big ball of fire doesn't matter (definitely not true). This planet Earth then started to grow shit one it starting with more rock and then moving on to plants. These plants were all like really old and some little shit called a little shit started to develop and somehow started to become intelligent. Now this little shit on a scale of one to ten on the little shit organism scale was a -4.23. It started to develop into bigger shit like tadpoles and eventually it changed into many different creatures. There were these big things called dinosaurs that were like giant lizards that ate each other and merely evolved so that little kids could think that having T-rex printed on your shirt made you cool.
Eventually this little organism shit evolved into something that looked like my grandpa with its back all bent and leaning on a stick. It then evolved into like the 1337 modern day human. This was cool. Yes, you little shit, you came from a monkey, get the fuck over it.

These humans started to kill everything else and viewed themselves as moar interrigellint than everything else. They created societies and cities and stuff. And it was cool.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

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Game Review Time/Movie Review Time

Seeing as this is my first GRTMRT I am going to explain how it works. Either you take my advice and buy it or don't buy or you don't take my advice and shove it.
FAiRLY SIMPOH?

Game Review: P0rtal
Two words: Buy Orange Box
Yea, its that good plus you get some bonus games like Half-Life2 and Team Fortress 2 for free when you buy P0rtal.

Movie Review: Requiem For A Dream
This movie is one of the few that actually affected how I view degenerate drug shits. This was a good movie, go buy it. It follows the path of a guy on heroine, his friend, and his girlfriend , and his mother. The END

See you next time for more REVOLUTIONARY CUPCAKE
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Somewhere out in the broad universe a blog about revolution and cupcakes hangs itself after the second post.

Ok Honestly folks this was pretty bad. Im going to work on improving this shit. I'm going to have to go drink DRAIN-0 now... Cyah?

The First Of Many

2008-03-31T16:30:00.000-07:00

This is the first of, hopefully, many blog posts. I just thought that I would introduce myself. I am eStab, also known as Gregory *cough*. I am XX yrs old and a fan of George Orwell's 1984. The name eStab comes from a short form for Establishment. I made the first e small to signify a revolution or something. Anyway.
I play videogames and will post a review once in a while as well as movie reviews for new and old. I am interested in the arts and architecture and I enjoy walking in the rain whilst listening to metal. I am in high-school... I think. If you would like to contact me my e-mail is blame.the.establishment@gmail.com.

Side Note: I am well aware of the fact that I am caucasian and no i will not apologize for it.